Technofear Part 2

Have you ever noticed how people counting down get slower as they approach the end, sometimes actually inserting fractions of seconds in a patronising attempt to ensure that whatever small task that is being carried out in a time-limited fashion (getting a small child to put on their pyjamas, bomb disposal - that sort of thing) should be completed just in the nick of time and everyone goes home happy? Well now I've noticed that computers do this too. Only they do it in a manner intended to annoy and frustrate, and nobody goes home happy.

When something is loading on your machine (installing new software, opening a large file, saving a document, moving between web pages - that sort of thing), there is usually a little bar or series of dots or flying envelopes that indicates how fast progress is being made and how much is left to go. In my logical world, the bar represents 100% of the process and, therefore, the closer to the end of the bar the lime green flashing line gets, the closer to completing the task I am. But I suspect I have missed a trick here. That is what the computer wants me to think! By moving from left to write, in a logical forward motion, and flashing and gaining my trust and attention, it fools me into thinking that things are going well, and that I should sit it out, rather than putting my laundry away or doing the washing up. But as the line nears it's final position on the right hand side of the bar, it slows down and sometimes stops altogether, just short of the finish line. It takes no time at all to complete the first 95% of whatever process is going on, but then procrastinates massively for the remaining 5%. Had I known it would do that, I could have eaten a piece of cake or put my slippers on. Is it just another clever strategy incorporated by computer manufacturers to suggest that the machine is faster and more capable than it really is?

Perhaps, in it's defence, my laptop simply underestimates the challenges ahead and rushes on in there all gung ho, before realising the true complexities of the situation. And there it sits, embarrassed and ashamed, claiming that everything is under control and it'll be finished in a tick. Perhaps it 'mega-bit' off more than it could chew, and at 95% it 'hit the wall', relying on support and motivation from it's internal processor to drag it's weary RAM over the final painful steps. 

Whatever the reason, do not be fooled by a flashing line, dancing dots or anything that says '45 seconds remaining'. You'll be sat there 20 minutes later.