Saturday 27 December 2014

Winter Fowl

As I sit at my computer staring out at the assortment of Christmas cards that have kindly been dispatched to my humble abode, I am struck, as ever, by the sheer volume of avian content that lies therein. Obviously people who know me know my interest in birds, and are, coincidentally, the people most likely to send me a Christmas card. But even so, a staggering number of the designs feature an array of wildlife, real or fictional, in wintery settings for my viewing pleasure.

Of the 23 cards that have wound their way into my house, there are 14 robins featured, 12 reindeer, six Santas, three penguins, two doves, one owl, one fox and one puffin, and one unidentified bird that looks like a dove but must be a partridge since it is depicted in a pear tree. This all reminds me of an article I wrote, some years ago, for a community website in Cornwall, and which I now reproduce below, describing some of our festive avian associations. Enjoy!


The Robin

As a seven year old child I fell into the classic trap of identifying the robin as a winter species. I was at a field meeting for the Young Ornithologists Club (the YOC – not an organisation to reel in members with its uber-trendy nomenclature! Thankfully the youth branch of the RSPB has been revamped since then). We were asked whether the robin was a summer or winter bird, and eager to impress my new found fellow young ornithologists, I leapt forth with the answer that it was, of course, a winter bird. How did I know? Because I had seen one (I can only assume the same one) on every Christmas card, present, wrapping and advert under the ever shortening sun. And yet a moment’s conscious thought would have reminded me that this is a species that we see in summer too. The robin is possibly a victim of a highly successful marketing strategy. It certainly has had religious connections for hundreds of years, and it is one of the few species to remain territorial all year round, so will sing in winter more than many species do. However, it was likely introduced to cards to symbolise postal workers delivering at Christmas time – the red breast closely matching the uniform of our native ‘posties’, and the original cards containing images of the robin actually carrying the mail. Over time the association with Pat was lost, but the robin continued on its wintery way to become our national bird. Not so much victim as victor.
 
A Robin proving me right
 
The Partridge and associated friends

I will assume here that you are all well versed (and perhaps rehearsed) in the art of Christmas songs. In one particularly popular ditty, a whole menagerie of birds, people and inanimate objects are lumped together in descending numerical order, culminating in a partridge (and a pear tree, for the benefit of those who claim the RSPB only cares about birds!). This seems most unlikely to me, since partridges are generally ground dwelling birds, and I have never seen one in a tree at all. Currently, it is becoming increasingly difficult to see the grey, or ‘English’ partridge at all, as the population continues to decline.
Grey 'English' Partridge
 
The red-legged, or ‘French’ partridge is our bird’s continental cousin, and has become the more common of the two in many places. It is unclear which of the two species the song refers to. Turtle doves are similarly scarce in the UK. This species has long been associated with marital tenderness, though I do not know whether that is a reason for its inclusion in the song. A combination of habitat loss and hunting on migration has reduced the population of turtle doves in the UK to less than a quarter of what it was 30 years ago. Turtle doves are summer migrants, so they will all have fled the encroaching winter long before Christmas arrives. White doves (though not our native turtle doves) feature on many cards as symbols of peace, with obvious religious connotations. Swans often feature as a representation of love. The image of two swan necks bent into a heart shape adorns many cards, particularly those produced for Valentine’s Day. For geese the association may be more practical. It is likely that a number of game birds, both wild and domestic (and we can throw the French hens into this category), will feature on our Christmas menus as usual this year. In some cases they will be stuffed inside each other to create a Russian doll effect, with up to ten species crammed together. Though they do not feature in the song, and are neither wild nor native to our shores, it would be wrong to deliver a Christmas sermon without at least mentioning the turkey! Another bird-related line from the song concentrates on four ‘calling birds’. One argument suggests that these are blackbirds, as it could derive from an original term ‘collie’, which means black and comes from an old word for coal. It is to this species, and it’s nearest and dearest, that we turn next. 

Blackbirds - male on left!
Blackbirds and other Thrushes

These are birds which have a genuine association with winter. Although we have a resident population of blackbirds, song and mistle thrush in the UK, their numbers are swelled by other birds flying south to winter in our milder climate. With these come redwing and fieldfare, which are only present here in the winter. The redwing is similar to a song thrush, but with a red flash under the wing and a more prominent eye stripe. The fieldfare is a larger bird, with blues and greys coating its back, but still maintaining some of the spotted chest we see on other thrushes. Both of these species will come to gardens in search of food, and have a particular fondness for apples and berries. They can be seen currently stripping berries from our hedgerows.

The Penguin

For a UK birdwatcher, Christmas is by far the best time to see a penguin. As a southern hemispheric family, penguins are not accustomed to arriving on our shores in considerable numbers. But an association between penguins and cold conditions has left them the dubious honour of featuring in our Christmas thoughts (though I’m yet to find a recipe that includes one!). It is worth remembering that our winter will actually be their summer, and I would be interested to find out whether penguins grace the covers of Australian Christmas cards. The majestic emperor penguins will be huddled together, braving the elements in a bid to raise their single chicks. Incidentally, it would be a fair assumption that the fascinating but treacle-coated film ‘March of the Penguins’ will be part of our TV schedules over Christmas.
A marching penguin
 

Thursday 18 December 2014

Serendipity

Those of you who read my post 'Polite Strangers' will have seen that I suggested a daft social experiment whereby I invited you all to text random things to random strangers to see what response you get. I received one random text (from someone I knew) informing me that Giggleswick were competing against Broadbottom in the welly wanging championship the following day. I can only assume the rest of you kept your experiments to yourselves. So in the absence of any results from that teaser, I'm suggesting another one.

I recently acquired a ten pound note on which someone had written their name - Helena Randall. I don't know Helena Randall, but I thought it might be interesting to try to trace her and return her tenner. The name is common enough that I'm not going to get anywhere by searching google - a quick search reveals a Helena Randall who sells portraits and another who is Senior Regional Marketing Manager at Lambert Smith Hampton, but there are probably hundreds of Helena Randalls out there, and no way for me to narrow down which one is most likely to have written her name on a banknote.

So instead I need to assume that the name was originally placed on the note in some form of experiment, to see whether it ever got back to it's rightful owner, Helena Randall. So it is at least possible that Helena Randall will be searching for the note, and if she was to put 'Helena Randall ten pound note' into a search engine, this blog post would now appear somewhere on the list! However, in an attempt to raise the profile of the post in any search, and in case any of you should know a Helena Randall through your friends or friends of friends, I now invite you to share this post to see how far we can cast the net.

I believe a similar premise was the storyline for a very cheesy rom com called Serendipity. Whilst I can't recall the exact details (yes, of course the note came back round, they fell in love, yawn and eventually vomit), I would like to offer the note back to Helena Randall in the event that we establish contact. I might even frame it! (Incidentally, if anyone knows a Helena Randall who didn't sign the note, but fancies claiming it, I will of course be conducting a handwriting test!).

So spread the news far and wide, and if you're out there Helena Randall please get in touch!

Saturday 13 December 2014

Head in Hands

From time to time I've been gripped by a strange phenomenon. When resting my head back into a cupped hand, I've had a disconcerting feeling that either my hand is very large or my head is very small. In reality, I think neither is the case, but I clearly have a disproportionate opinion of their relative sizes. My hand simply does not seem large enough to cradle the bulk of my head. Nor should my head be small enough to sit neatly inside my hand. I wonder if Jeremy Beadle ever had this problem.

Friday 5 December 2014

Polite Strangers

Many of you will know my feelings on technology (see here). Despite the wealth of functions that technology performs in my life on a daily basis, there are times when I want to hurl a glass of orange juice over my laptop simply to teach it a lesson. However, today I had a pleasant technological exchange with a complete stranger. I received a text from a random number that neither I nor my phone recognised, and over the next half hour or so I conversed with 'Dave' in the following manner:

Dave: Hi just a reminder you are all stamp and deliver tonight 17.45-20.45. Dave
Me: What does this mean?! I'm confused!
Dave: If you are still an explorer scout you are due to do stamp and deliver mail sorting tonight. Dave
Me: I'm 31 & have never been an explorer scout before. Do I still qualify?!
Dave: I bet you don't live in allestree either?
Me: Nope! But thanks for the invite! Enjoy the stamping.
Dave: Happy Christmas

I like Dave. I don't know much about him, but I assume he is a volunteer co-ordinating scouts in Allestree (where is Allestree?!). He's also polite and mildly amusing. Which makes him probably a decent chap. I might start texting a few random numbers over the coming weeks, offering a bizarre and varied assortment of evening activities, to see if I can elicit any similar responses. Perhaps along the lines of 'Don't forget it's drinking chess night at the village hall - bring a friend!' or 'Chicken race night at the pub in Bonsall this friday' (this one actually exists!). I invite you to try this too, and post the best responses below!