Wednesday 13 January 2016

A small nugget of wisdom

I was recently unfortunate enough to find myself driving the A303 late into the evening as my stomach began to rumble. This was unfortunate as I knew I could not survive the remainder of the trip without some form of food intake, but I also knew that the culinary establishments available on the A303 were not of the high calibre of cuisine that I was hoping for. My food snobbery extends as far as avoidance of fast food outlets where possible, and on this occasion it seemed impossible.

So I found myself at Burger King for the first time in a great many years, staring indecisively up at a menu that left me bewildered and perplexed. In the many years since I have procured fast food, it appears that the pricing strategy has changed. For example, four chicken nuggets cost 99p. But six cost £2.89. Even my elementary maths can spot that this simply doesn't add up. On the one hand each nugget is worth 25p, but if you wish to extend your nugget eating habit by another 50%, you then pay 48p per nugget. It would be far easier to get two lots of four, save yourself 91p, and have an extra two nuggets to boot!

I contemplated that perhaps Burger King knew something about chicken nuggets that I did not. Perhaps the likelihood of a customer collapsing from a heart attack increases by a factor of six billion the moment they clasp their lips around the 5th or 6th nugget, and so in the interests of health and safety they have a pricing strategy to combat this. Except that you can then get nine nuggets for £3.89. Who in their right mind would risk nine nuggets when they would likely collapse after five or six?! And besides, even if you can survive a certain nugget-related ailment, you could have 12 nuggets for £2.97 if ordered in batches of four!

I wondered if Burger King were trying to combat obesity by encouraging people to consume less, but then I noticed the price of fries. A small bag of fries was over a pound, but a medium bag of fries was less than a pound. How was this so?! Is it more cost effective for Burger King to cook and/or sell more fries? How does this compare to the cost per nugget? And has anyone ever, in the history of bizarre fast food pricing, purchased a small bag of fries when they could get a medium bag of fries for less?! Even if they only wanted a small bag of fries it would make more sense (to the individual, though not environmentally) to buy a medium bag of fries, then consume only a small bag's equivalent, and throw the rest away.

So the only people who should ever purchase a small bag of fries at Burger King are rich environmentalists with small appetites! And the only people who should ever purchase nine chicken nuggets are rich risk-takers with poor arithmetic.

Can anyone explain this nonsense to me please?

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