When you gotta go...

I was merrily strolling along the pavement lately when I noticed a neat geometric pattern on the tarmac. It was along the low walls at the front of the houses, and lasted for ten feet or so with systematic regularity. I stopped to ponder its origin. It appeared to be made from water, as though someone carrying a water bottle had made a continuous line by squirting it as they went. But there were no gaps or pauses in the line, and the repetitiveness of the pattern suggested something more organised. It reminded me slightly of that wonderful preserve of children's summer holidays - Spirograph. People of a certain age will have shared many a dull day spirographing away to their heart's content, becoming only mildly frustrated when the clips came loose and the pattern was ruined. Anyhow, the evidence suggested a trail of water, somehow with a regularity to it, that lasted for just a handful of seconds, and I couldn't help but wonder whether some poor dog had tried to relieve itself in the time-honoured fashion, only to be hauled along by an impatient owner, spraying concentric circles of urine as it went. A four-legged beast such as this walks with a regular gait, and no doubt the poor hound was forced to trot along behind its master, simultaneously manufacturing the greatest show of territoriality ever seen in the animal kingdom; something of which Tracey Emin would be proud. This revelation led me to wonder whether other canines in the locality were left in awe of this particular pooch, or gave it a wide birth. Surely the artist in question is top dog in my neighbourhood.